Response to Johannas final week post

I agree with you and your concern about raising kids in this society. Its not easy and its definitely getting more challenging. I look back at the issues I had to deal with and compare it with my childrens issues (24 and 18 respectively). I can see how they've had a tougher life. But, having said that you need to look at the kind of person you are and the messages you'll give. If you are able to give them a good example on gender, and morals it will work. Kids do have challenges, and we need to recognize those. But we also need to look at ourselves and know that if we chose to have them we can help guide them through lifes complex maze.

Response to Britts Post

I have to agree with you. Prior to this course I only thought there were womens issues and mens issues and I thought I knew what they were. I had no idea how complex the issues are or the different levels involved.
I appreciate what I've learned because it has made me more aware of our world and all the nuances in involved in human interaction

Response to Britts Post

I have to agree with you. Prior to this course I only thought there were womens issues and mens issues and I thought I knew what they were. I had no idea how complex the issues are or the different levels involved.
I appreciate what I've learned because it has made me more aware of our world and all the nuances in involved in human interaction

Week 6 response to Johanna

When you ask will there ever come a time when your friends parents will accept her I honestly think that they are too ingrained with their beliefs to change. But, I do believe that overall we are becoming more tolerant (even if its just to a small degree) and that will initiate change and acceptance. Its just that it will not happen soon. I think a few generations need to go by before we see anything significant. I mean in California they are allowing gay marriage...thats a first step. But there are still many to go.
I think your friend will need to learn to deal with her parents rejection and accept them for who they are while she continues to accept who she is.

Being Married -- Only men and women?

Ok so I ran out of ideas until I saw the latest news on the California ruling to permit gay marriage. My first reaction was good..no big deal, let them do what makes them happy. Then I questioned why its such a big deal? Why are people affected so negatively by allowing gay couples to marry? Why does is\t diminish the male/female marriage? I don't feel any less married because a gay couple is permitted to marry, so whats the big deal? If 2 people love each other and are willing to committ to each other what else matters?

As I was reading the epilogue the term "melting pot" was used. And while we use the term as a positive to imply this country is open to everyone. What it truly means (and the book enlightened that for me) is that we're all the same; and that is were the problem lies. We can not be the same..its impossible and unrealistic. When I was in Miami in April for a meeting, a coworker and I spent an evening with a lovely gay couple. I had the best time with them. They were wonderful people. And one thing I noticed about them is that they were just as committed to each other as my husband and I. They were a typical married couple (without the legal paper). So I say let them participate in the rituals we've established..and if they want to get divorced because it doesn't work out -- let it be.

Response to Shonte's Week 5 post

Shonte,
What you discuss is the issue that women will continue to face. Its definitely not easy to leave your children and especially when you have to go off to work. The choices that need to be made to fit the evolving model of the new woman (the one who does it all) are difficult. And even more importantly are those sacrifices worth it? Is it worth a not bonding with your baby to attain a career goal? Is it worth sacrificing time with your family? I think these are all individual questions/choices that we all need to make. For me it was never worth leaving my children for a career. I put that on hold until they were out the door. But..that is my choice. Someone may feel differently. I think in the end what we need to do as a society is examine why we require those choices. Can't we allow a woman to be a mother and professinal? Can't we allow her to spend time with her family once a week? Do we also allow fathers the same privlage?

Response to Suzanne

I'm exhausted just reading this! Its amazing how much women take on and your right...not one notices or appreciates it. In the end its actually expected. I think I once heard someone make a comment to the effect that we wanted to be liberated so we got everything we wanted...yeah right.
I myself have suffered from "second shift" I've worked long hours and have been required to come home, cook a meal, help with homework, run errands, pay bills and keep the house clean. There was a time that when I never stopped working..I think I actualy ended up collapsing from the exhaustion. Now my second shif consists of school work and sometimes additional work from the office that I have to complete after hours or I'll fall behind. This is a new level of second shift.
Good luck to you as you continue to work your second shift. I'm sure if they paid a salary for this second job (think about the night differential) you'd be pretty well off.

Redefining my Role

Well, this week I saw my youngest child graduate from high school. She will begin her first year of college in a few short months and will be moving away from home. During the process of getting ready for this event I found myself very sad and on many ocassions crying. In an effort to find comfort and understanding of my many complex feelings I reached out to others who had gone through the process and I also talked to a few who were going through it as I was. One of my conversations was very enlightening. My friend told me that part of the reason I'm sad is because most of my life has been dedicated to caring for my children and I no longer have that. She was right. I have been defined by my gender role as wife and most especialy mother and that role is now being redefined. While I will never cease to be a mother or wife...I will not be the primary caregiver for my daughters. They have independent lives now that they must define.

In the mean time I have an opportunity to find a new role for myself; a new gender definition to create. But its interesting to note how strongly I've associated my existence to being a mother. I can't imagine doing anything else yet I know I have to find something new. If this were 100 years ago I'd be put out to pasture :0) Luckily we are in the 21st century and we have an opportunity to explore.

Funny how we have gender roles and find ourselves a bit lost when those roles are fulfilled. It will be interesting to see what happens from here.

Week 4 Prof's Post Response

I think this goes back to the original post of caregiver definition. Who is to say that "traditional" couples are a better option for raising a child then a gay couple? Its an assumption that straight couples make better parents yet when one looks at how many problems there are with teens and preadolescent kids you have to wonder. This is a barrier that will not likely be removed soon. But its one that will not last. There are too many children needing love and too many loving people waiting for them (regardless of their sexual preference)

Gender and Education

As I was reading chapter 8 on education and gender I was thinking about my job. I work for an educational testing company and one of the things that is important for us as we create tests is write items (technical term for a test question) that are fair and unbiased. Until I started working for this company I had no idea how much work went into creating a test question. When we write a test we don't just put it out there for use. We go through item review meetings. We put together a group of teachers from what ever state we're creating the test for and they look at each question (no kidding -- we're talking close to a thousand for each content area) to make sure that it not only matches what their teaching but also for gender bias and sensitivity. I've sat in meetings were pictures have been changed to make sure that they reflect a fair and balanced view of society. The last meeting I attended was in April and I remember a picture used in a science test was revised so that the lead scientist was a woman. We even count to make sure that there is a fair balance of boys and girls names, we look for ethnic and racial blance. I think I'm still amazed that we work that hard to ensure equality

While I do think that overall there is still an issue of unfair bias in education. I know that we're also working to ensure that it does not continue.

Images of Women in the Media

As I was reading the chapters and the information on the images of women in the media I wanted to find in my own mind images that seem to reflect a more current female model. One specific program that I though of is "My Boys" on TBS. I don't know if any of you watch it but its one of those summer shows that run for a short period of time. I think what I find so interesting about the program is that its about a female sports reporter. And not only that ,her best friends are male.

I find their interactions really interesting because its not what I typically see in male/female interactions. When PJ is with the boys she's just one of them. She plays poker, drinks beer, hangs out at the bar and their conversations are global. The pilot episode was really interesting because PJ started going out with a guy who would become her friend and while they were making out he felt that she was being too aggressive. He commented that she made him feel weak..almost feminine.

Now mind you that there are issues of romance for her, and she does have a female friend. But I feel that this program shows an example of male/female relationships that is rarely seen on TV. Every now and then there are some really interesting attempts at moving away form the culturally accepted norms.

A view of the evolving female role

One of the things thats clear to me based on the reading thus far is that the female role has traditionally been passive and somewhat submissive, and in general that was true. I'm of the generation that started to see the role of women change slowly. My first true strong female role model was Mary Tyler Moore. I loved her show and the independence that she portrayed. Yet, when she communicated she still demonstrated the female traits that were assigned to her. She still relied on the men in her life for some form of validation. She was a first step in reshaping the role of females.

Things have evolved since the 70's and for me its been interesting to see that evolution. We went from Mary Tyler Moore to Hilary Clinton. Thats a major leap!

I think what we're seeing is a clear reshaping of how females are percieved and the new roles that they are acquiring in society. I myself work with a woman who is as strong as any male in the workforce. She has a strong presence, speaks forcefully, and is focused on her advancement. She has a clear career path in mind and I can see that she is well on her way to acheving it. What is truly notable about this womans focus is that she also is a mother and plans to have more children. Her husband is her support and he has no problem with being the main caregiver allowing her to seek her objective. This couple is a new generation and a new view on male/female roles.

Are there any such similar examples in anyone elses life?

Testing...testing..

1..2...3...

I hope this works. I'm not the most technologically advanced individual.