Ok so I ran out of ideas until I saw the latest news on the California ruling to permit gay marriage. My first reaction was good..no big deal, let them do what makes them happy. Then I questioned why its such a big deal? Why are people affected so negatively by allowing gay couples to marry? Why does is\t diminish the male/female marriage? I don't feel any less married because a gay couple is permitted to marry, so whats the big deal? If 2 people love each other and are willing to committ to each other what else matters?
As I was reading the epilogue the term "melting pot" was used. And while we use the term as a positive to imply this country is open to everyone. What it truly means (and the book enlightened that for me) is that we're all the same; and that is were the problem lies. We can not be the same..its impossible and unrealistic. When I was in Miami in April for a meeting, a coworker and I spent an evening with a lovely gay couple. I had the best time with them. They were wonderful people. And one thing I noticed about them is that they were just as committed to each other as my husband and I. They were a typical married couple (without the legal paper). So I say let them participate in the rituals we've established..and if they want to get divorced because it doesn't work out -- let it be.
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In refernce to your question why gay marriage is such abig deal? May be people in general do not believe in gay behaviors or their life styles, or may be they are worried about the future generations.How would they explain them to their young kids?
I also do not understand why there is such an issue with allowing same-sex marriage although many people I have talked to about this have an issue with using the word marriage. Those that I have spoken with feel same sex couples should have the legal rights as part of a domestic partnership but reserve the term marriage for heterosexual couples. With the extremely high rate of divorce I find it very touching that one lesbian couple who has been together for fifty-five years has finally been able to legally recognize their relationship. People who are so committed to one another should have the same rights as heterosexual couples and declare their relationship a marriage
The reason why gay marriage is such a big deal is because people do not like what is different. If people are in love who cares if it is the same sex or not. People are people and love is love. There are so many worse things going on in the world. People shouldn't be focusing what makes others happy. People need to just worry about themselves and do what makes them happy. No one should care what others think.
I am with you Zulma, I do not understand why there is such an issue about gays who want to marry. I think the one thing I hear over and over is that they are concerned about the health insurance aspect. I have to admit, that part does drive me nuts because my husband and I do not share each other's health insurance. I was brought up to always get a job with good "bennies" and that's exactly what I did. I feel that they should be responsible in that respect if the main reason they are marrying is for health benefits. But aside from that, if that is not the reason, then I say go for it. Their marriage is not going to erode society as I have read in different articles and books. I have known of some gay couples who have spent over 20 years together. I know plenty of hetereosexual couples who talk badly about one another, cheat, etc. so if the gay couple who loves each other and is committed wants to marry, let them.
Zulma. I like you post I thought it was a very interesting topic you choice. I see gay marriages the same way you do. If two gay people love each other why should anyone or any law restricted them from getting married. I go out in public and I see gay couples all the time, they still have the freedom to show their expression for one another so what’s the big deal about making them legally married. If we’ve accepted gays to show affection in public why not allow them to get married, nothing changes just their marital status. I agree with Jenai people are afraid of changes and because of that people will discriminate against gays.
I’ve gone to Gay Pride in New York to support my gay friends and let me tell you walking from the train station to the actual location of the parade is intolerable. I remember people yelled at us, calling us names, and even remember seeing a straight man throw something at one of the gay couple walking in front of us. At that point I realized how cruel people can really be to one another just because they are “different” from them. My experience at Gay Pride was something I’ll always remember, everyone there was just having a good time and never was there any violence. I actually like it, I encourage more people to go and see for yourself the experience you get from being around gays.
Zulma
We shape our culture’s views of men and women. Our cultures usually reflect our response to gender issues. This is why some people react to gay marriage because while they were growing up this was taboo in their society. Therefore, our generation faces a lot of challenges, and we need more time to frame the issues of our era and grow awareness of how the interaction of communication, gender, and culture privileges help some people and oppress others. The new generation will decide how to respond to social practices that produce differences in the quality of life and opportunities available to various groups in our culture.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. I did see this on the front page of the NYT but didn't get around to blogging until today. I know a gay couple who has been "married" since 1988 and have a really strong & balanced relationship--even considering what the book has to say about issues that gay couples encounter that hetero couples don't. I also know another couple who is the most generous, caring, and community-minded couple out of anyone I know. It doesn't matter that these people are in same-sex marriages. What matters is that they are decent, empathetic, philanthropic, loving individuals who respect each other and humankind. These people deserve the tax and other benefits that married hetero's are priviledged with. There is nothing to explain to society other than these are two people who love each other and in their commitment to each other and God (they are Christians) they make the world a better place. This probably can't be said for most straight couples we know, which doesn't make them better, but certainly not any less deserving.
I agree. We judge without really understanding the issue. More people need to put themselves out there with education, awareness or in your experience being put in the situation to observe and compare your preconcieved stereotypes to what is the truth.
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